How to Be the Hottest Version of Yourself at Any Age

Okay, let’s get real for a minute.

When was the last time you caught your reflection and thought, “Damn, I look good!”?

If it’s been a while, we need to talk. Because feeling hot—yes, HOT—isn’t about hitting some magic number on the scale or looking like those filtered Instagram models who don’t even look like themselves.

It’s about how you show up in the world. It’s about the energy you bring into a room. It’s about the way you carry yourself when nobody’s watching.

And today? I’m breaking down exactly how to step into your most confident, radiant, head-turning self—at ANY age.

Let’s go!

If this is your first time reading this blog, here’s what you should know about me: I’m a 47-year-old woman who struggled with my weight and health for ten long years, failing at diet after diet, until I finally decided to take a radically different approach.

Instead of starting yet another diet, I started researching. And I quickly learned that almost everything we’ve ever been told about health and weight loss, about what makes us lose weight and what makes us fat, is totally wrong. We’ve been lied to for the last 70 years. And it’s had a devastating effect on our health.

So I changed the way I ate. I stopped focusing on calories and started worrying about HORMONES. And I lost 49 pounds without dieting or Ozempic or making myself miserable, and now I’ve kept that weight off for years.

But what I realized through that journey was that losing weight wasn’t really the end goal. It wasn’t even about the number on the scale or the size of my jeans. It was about how I FELT in my own skin. It was about having energy and confidence and feeling like myself again.

So that’s what today’s episode is all about. It’s about stepping into the hottest version of yourself—at ANY age. And when I say “hot,” I don’t mean society’s narrow definition. I’m talking about being radiant, magnetic, and carrying yourself with so much confidence that people can’t help but notice.

Because here’s the cold, hard truth—society has sold us this giant lie that we somehow lose our “hotness” after 40. That we’re supposed to fade into the background, stop drawing attention to ourselves, and basically accept that our best days are behind us.

And that is absolute garbage.

If anything, I feel WAY more confident and comfortable in my skin now than I ever did in my 20s or 30s. I know who I am. I know what I want. And I no longer care nearly as much about what other people think.

I remember a few years ago, when I was at my heaviest—over 200 pounds—I went to a conference, and I felt invisible. I wore these big, baggy clothes to hide myself. I didn’t make eye contact. I slumped my shoulders. I literally tried to take up less space. And you know what? People treated me exactly how I was presenting myself—like I was invisible.

Fast forward to today. Now when I walk into a room, whether it’s the grocery store or a business conference full of Bro marketers, I walk in with my shoulders back, making eye contact, smiling, wearing clothes that fit me well and made me feel amazing. And the energy I get back is completely different. Not because I’m smaller now, but because of how I carry myself.

And that’s what I want for you, too. I want you to walk into a room and own it. I want you to feel so good in your skin that it radiates from the inside out.

Because this isn’t about vanity. It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself—for you, for your family, for your work, for everything that matters to you. When you feel confident, your whole life changes.

So today, I’m breaking down the five elements that I believe make up your “hotness factor,” regardless of your age, size, or where you’re starting from. And I promise you, if you implement even ONE of these things, you’ll start seeing and feeling a difference right away.

Let’s start with the biggest one: confidence.

Confidence—The Ultimate “Hot” Factor

If you think about the most attractive women you know, what do they have in common? Is it that they’re all a perfect size 4? Is it that they all look like they’re 25? No.

The most attractive women are the ones who walk into a room like they OWN it.

They’re the ones who aren’t apologizing for taking up space. They make direct eye contact. They speak with certainty. They stand tall. They own their presence.

Your energy is basically your billboard to the world. It tells people how to treat you. And while we can’t control everything about our appearance, we can absolutely control our energy.

Here’s a quick body language hack that will instantly make you more magnetic: Shoulders back, head high, make eye contact. Try it right now—seriously, even if you’re driving or on a walk or whatever. Pull those shoulders back, lift your chin, and take up a little more space. Feel the difference?

Your body actually sends signals to your brain. When you adopt confident body language, your brain starts producing chemicals that make you FEEL more confident. It’s a feedback loop.

But perhaps even more important than body language is your self-talk—that little voice in your head.

Do you talk to yourself like someone who loves herself? Or do you constantly criticize everything about yourself—your body, your decisions, your life?

The hottest women I know aren’t constantly tearing themselves down. They might not be perfect, but they focus on what they love about themselves instead of fixating on their flaws.

I have this friend, Susie, who is hands down one of the most confident women I know. She’s helped me completely transform how I show up in my marriage, and it all comes down to how she talks about herself.

Susie regularly tells her husband things like, “I’m so hot. You’re so lucky you have such a hot wife. You’re so lucky to be married to me!”

And you know what? He absolutely believes it. Because SHE believes it.

When I first heard her say stuff like this, I thought, “Wow, I could never be that forward.” But she encouraged me to try it, to say similar things to my husband Chuck.

So I did. And it felt weird and almost embarrassing at first. But the more I said it, the more natural it became. And Chuck’s reaction? Let’s just say he was… very appreciative. Her belief in herself made her more attractive to her husband, and the same thing happened with me.

This wasn’t about being conceited—it was about genuinely appreciating myself and not being afraid to voice it. And it completely shifted the dynamic in our relationship.

So here’s my first challenge for you: Look in the mirror today and say something nice to yourself. I don’t care if it feels weird or forced at first. Find ONE thing you like—maybe it’s your eyes, or your smile, or even just how your hair looks today—and acknowledge it out loud.

“Damn, my eyes look good today.” “I love my smile.” “My legs are strong and they carry me through life.”

This isn’t some woo-woo affirmation exercise. This is about rewiring your brain to start seeing yourself differently. Because hotness starts in your head.

And here’s a simple mindset shift that changed everything for me: Start acting like you already feel hot. Seriously. How would you walk, talk, and show up if you felt amazing in your skin? Start doing that NOW. Don’t wait until you lose weight or your skin clears up or you get that new haircut. Act as if, and your feelings will follow.

Strong is Sexy—Why Muscle Tone = Confidence Boost

Next up, let’s talk about something that had a HUGE impact on how I feel in my body: strength.

Strength is power. And I don’t mean that you need to be some CrossFit champion or bodybuilder. I’m talking about having enough muscle tone that you feel strong and capable in your daily life.

There’s something incredibly empowering about being able to carry all your groceries in one trip, or pick up your grandkid without thinking twice, or go on a hike without feeling like you’re going to die.

And the science backs this up. Strength training does some really amazing things for your body and your confidence:

First, it boosts your metabolism. Muscle burns more calories at rest than fat does, which means the more muscle you have, the more efficiently your body uses energy.

Second, it improves your posture. When your core and back muscles are strong, you naturally stand taller. And remember what we just talked about with body language? Standing tall = instant confidence boost.

Third, it actually helps your body manage stress better. The more muscle you have, the less likely your body is to store stress as fat, particularly around your middle section.

And fourth—and this one was a game-changer for me—strength training actually makes you FEEL powerful in a way that cardio just doesn’t. There’s something about being able to lift a weight that you couldn’t lift before that translates to other areas of your life.

So here’s my practical tip: If you don’t already lift weights, start with just 3 sessions a week, 20 minutes each. You don’t need a fancy gym membership or complicated equipment. Even simple bodyweight exercises like squats, push-ups (modified if needed), and planks will make a huge difference.

And if you’re thinking, “But Ruth, I don’t want to get bulky!”—let me stop you right there. That’s not how women’s bodies work. We don’t have enough testosterone to build huge muscles without really, really trying. What you WILL get is toned, defined muscles and a metabolism boost that will change how you feel in your skin.

Trust me on this one: strong is sexy. And it’s well worth the effort.

The Energy Factor—Because Tired Isn’t Hot

Let’s be honest—you can’t feel hot if you feel like garbage. Period.

I don’t care what kind of makeup you put on or what designer outfit you’re wearing—if you’re exhausted, bloated, and brain-fogged, you’re not going to feel like your best self.

And I know energy becomes this precious commodity as we get older. You might be thinking, “Well, I’m over 40, of course I’m tired all the time!”

But that’s not actually normal. And it’s certainly not something you have to accept.

In fact, I have WAY more energy now at almost 47 than I did in my 30s. And it’s because I finally figured out what was draining my energy and what was boosting it.

So let’s talk about the biggest energy killers—the things that are making you feel tired and blah:

First up: blood sugar crashes. If you’re starting your day with a big carby breakfast and coffee, you’re setting yourself up for an energy crash by 10am. And if you’re snacking on processed foods, you’re on a blood sugar rollercoaster all day long.

Then obviously poor sleep is a factor. And I don’t just mean not enough sleep—though that’s obviously a big one. I also mean poor quality sleep. If you’re waking up throughout the night or never hitting deep sleep, you’re going to feel it the next day.

But something you might not realize is also draining you is dehydration. Most of us are walking around chronically dehydrated, and it shows up as fatigue, brain fog, and even hunger.

And the last thing? A sedentary lifestyle. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the less you move, the less energy you have. Your body starts conserving energy because it thinks you don’t need it.

But luckily there are some easy energy fixes you can start implementing right away.

One is to start your day with protein and healthy fat—not carbs and coffee. This will keep your blood sugar stable and give you sustained energy for hours. My go-to is eggs cooked in butter with some avocado on the side. It keeps me full and focused until lunch, with no crashes.

Another is to move every day. And I don’t mean some big crazy workout. Just move a little, even if it’s just a 10-minute walk in the sun. Movement generates energy, and the sunshine has the added bonus of helping regulate your circadian rhythm, which means better sleep at night.

Then be sure to stay hydrated with water and electrolytes. Aim for at least half your body weight in ounces each day. If plain water is boring, add some lemon or cucumber to make it more appealing. I personally add magnesium and sea salt to my water every day. But hydration equals better skin, better digestion, and better mood.

And here’s a game-changing energy hack that’s a bit more advanced but SO worth it: cold showers or contrast showers. I know, I know—it sounds like torture. But hear me out. Even just 30 seconds of cold water at the end of your shower will give you an instant energy boost, improve circulation for better skin, and even boost your mood.

Suffice to say, energy is absolutely essential to feeling hot. When you have energy, you stand taller, you smile more, you engage with people, and you show up as your best self.

The Skin Factor—Your Natural Glow

Okay, now let’s talk about your skin—because it’s your largest organ and it sends immediate signals about your health and vitality. Great skin has that natural radiance that makes you look alive, awake, and vibrant without needing a drop of makeup.

And believe me when I tell you that the absolute BESt thing you can do for your skin isn’t buying some expensive cream or getting Botox. It’s cleaning up your diet. When you cut out sugar and processed foods, your skin responds almost immediately. Inflammation goes down, your complexion clears, and you start to get that natural glow that no highlighter can truly replicate.

I noticed a HUGE difference in my skin when I cut out sugar and started eating more nutrient-dense foods. The fine lines around my eyes actually diminished, my sun spots faded, and the redness I used to have around my nose and cheeks just disappeared.

Think about how many expensive skincare products promise to reduce inflammation, brighten complexion, and fight aging. Most of them are basically trying to undo the damage your diet is causing in the first place!

If you want to take it up a notch, adding collagen to your daily routine can make a big difference in skin elasticity. I put an extra scoop in my bone broth every morning. It’s high in collagen anyways, but then I boost it even more. Within about six weeks of starting this habit, I noticed my skin was plumper, my fine lines were less noticeable, and even my hair and nails were stronger.

Beyond nutrition, here are a few game-changing skin habits that cost almost nothing but make a massive difference:

One is facial massage and lymphatic drainage. Just spend 2-3 minutes each morning, before you put on your serums or moisturizers, gently massaging your face upward and outward. It reduces puffiness, improves circulation, and helps your products absorb better. You can use a gua sha tool or a roller if you want, but honestly, your fingers work just fine.

And speaking of moisturizers, about six months ago, I ditched my expensive creams for castor oil, and the difference in my skin is incredible. It helps remove age spots and hyper pigmentation, reduces fine lines, and is SO moisturizing. It also makes your eyelashes grow like crazy! I add a couple of drops of frankincense essential oil, so it smells amazing too.

Another great habit is dry brushing your body before showering. This exfoliates dead skin cells, increases circulation, and helps reduce cellulite over time. Plus, it feels incredible—like giving yourself a full-body massage.

One other pro tip–sleep on your back with your head slightly elevated. This prevents fluid retention in your face and helps avoid sleep creases that can eventually become permanent wrinkles. It makes a huge difference with morning puffiness. 

But if puffiness is a problem, you can also wash your face with ice water. I always do this when I travel and it’s like an instant facelift.

Bottom line here, when your skin looks good, you feel good. It’s not about trying to look 25 forever—it’s about looking healthy, vibrant, and well-cared for at any age. And the best part is, these habits create a cumulative effect. The longer you stick with them, the better your skin gets.

Style That Speaks Volumes

Of course we can’t talk about hotness without talking about style—because what you wear absolutely impacts how you feel and how others perceive you.

And I’m not talking about following trends or buying expensive clothes. I’m talking about wearing what makes YOU feel amazing.

When was the last time you updated your look? Do you still have clothes in your closet from 10 years ago? Are you dressing for the body you have NOW, or are you either hiding in too-big clothes or squeezing into things that don’t fit anymore?

One of the biggest mistakes I see women make is not dressing for their current body. Either they’re hiding in baggy clothes because they don’t want to draw attention to themselves, or they’re trying to squeeze into clothes that are too small, which is just uncomfortable.

Neither of those options is going to make you feel hot.

So invest in some clothes that FIT and FLATTER the body you have right now. You deserve to look and feel good today—not 10 pounds from now, not after you tone your arms, TODAY.

One game-changer for me was getting a proper bra fitting. So many of us are walking around in the wrong bra size, and it affects everything—how our clothes fit, our posture, our comfort level. A properly fitted bra is like an instant makeover.

Another style upgrade that made a huge difference for me was finding my personal “uniform”—a go-to outfit formula that I know works for my body and my lifestyle. For me, it’s a well-fitting pair of jeans, a structured top that defines my waist, and a third piece like a blazer or cardigan. When I have this formula, getting dressed is easy, and I always feel put together.

Color is another powerful tool. Wearing colors that complement your skin tone can make you look more vibrant, awake, and healthy. And if you don’t know what colors look good on you, grab a few girlfriends and go get your colors done. I did this with my team a while back and it was so fun. I learned that I’m a warm autumn so deep jewel tones tend to look the best on me—they make my eyes pop and my skin glow. 

But find your power colors and incorporate them into your wardrobe.

And stop saving your “nice” clothes for special occasions. If it makes you feel amazing, wear it now. Life is too short to save your good stuff.

The other little things that make a big difference? Details. The jewelry you choose, the scent you wear, how you do your hair—these things might seem small, but they add up to create your overall impression.

I have a personal rule that I never leave the house without earrings. It’s such a small thing, but it makes me feel put together and intentional. Find your non-negotiables—the little touches that make you feel like you’ve made an effort.

And never underestimate the power of a signature scent. Scent is deeply tied to memory and emotion. When you find a fragrance that makes you feel confident and beautiful, it becomes part of your personal brand. People will associate that scent with you, and you’ll associate it with feeling your best self. Mine is Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanilla. It’s definitely a splurge, but every time I spray it on I feel just a little bit hotter.

And maybe that sounds dumb, but I promise these aren’t frivolous details. They’re signals—to yourself and to others—that you care about yourself, that you’re worth the effort, that you’re showing up intentionally.

The Inner Glow—Owning Your Presence

Finally, let’s talk about what I think is the most important element of hotness: your inner glow.

The women who truly radiate—at any age—are lit up from the inside. They’re passionate about something. They laugh easily. They’re engaged with life.

Think about it—when someone is excited about something, don’t they become instantly more attractive? There’s an energy that comes with passion and joy that is undeniably magnetic.

I remember when I first started Thinlicious. I was so fired up about sharing what I’d learned about health and weight loss that I couldn’t stop talking about it. And I noticed that even at networking events where I didn’t know anyone, people were drawn to me. They wanted to know more, not just about what I was saying, but about ME. That passion was magnetic in a way that had nothing to do with how I looked.

So what lights you up? What makes you lose track of time? What do you love talking about?

Maybe it’s a hobby, or your work, or a cause you care about. Whatever it is, do more of it. Prioritize it. Talk about it. Let yourself get excited.

Or maybe you don’t know what that thing is yet. Maybe you’ve spent so many years focused on taking care of everyone else that you’ve lost touch with what lights YOU up. If that’s the case, it’s time to start exploring. Try new things. Say yes to experiences that intrigue you. Pay attention to what piques your curiosity.

Having passion and interests makes you more interesting, which makes you more attractive. It gives you things to talk about beyond the daily grind. It connects you with like-minded people. It adds dimension to your life.

And it’s not just about passion—it’s about engagement with life in general. The women who radiate that inner hotness are fully present in their lives. They’re not constantly distracted by their phones or ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. They’re HERE, in this moment, paying attention.

When you give someone your full attention, when you listen without planning what you’re going to say next, when you genuinely engage—that’s magnetic. That’s hot.

And while we’re at it, let’s bust another myth: that playfulness and flirtation are only for the young. Absolutely not. Some of the most charming, flirtatious women I know are in their 60s and 70s. They laugh, they tease, they engage.

They haven’t lost their spark—if anything, they’ve fanned the flames.

I think about my friend Edie, who I’ve known for 15 years now. But Edie is basically magical. She has this way of making everyone feel interesting and special. She’s curious about people. She asks questions. She laughs easily. She touches your arm when making a point. And let me tell you—she has more admirers than women half her age.

She’s in her 50s now, but she has never stopped being interested in life. And when you’re interested, you become interesting.

That’s inner glow in a nutshell. It’s being engaged with life. It’s having things you care about. It’s being present and attentive. It’s letting your personality shine.

Your vibe is everything. And you get to choose your vibe. You can choose to carry yourself like a woman who is confident, happy, and in control of her own damn life. Because you are.

That inner glow isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, being passionate, and being yourself—unapologetically.

And maybe the best part? This inner glow only gets better with age. While your skin might need a little more care at 45 than it did at 25, your inner light can burn brighter than ever. Because now you know who you are. You’ve survived things. You’ve got stories to tell and wisdom to share.

That confidence, that self-knowledge, that authentic presence—there’s nothing more attractive.

Final Takeaway: Your Hotness Starts NOW

So here’s what it all comes down to: feeling hot is a CHOICE.

It’s not about waiting until you lose weight, or get Botox, or hit some imaginary goal. It’s about deciding to step into your best energy right now.

It’s about saying, “This is me, and I’m going to own it.”

It’s about focusing on what you love about yourself, building strength, boosting your energy, taking care of your skin, dressing in a way that makes you feel amazing, and letting your inner light shine.

Is it always easy? No. Some days are harder than others. Some days I still look in the mirror and focus on what I don’t like. But those days are the exception now, not the rule.

Because I’ve learned that hotness isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, confidence, and energy. And those are all things within your control.

So here’s my challenge to you: Pick ONE THING from today’s episode and start doing it TODAY.

Maybe it’s the confident body language hack. Maybe it’s committing to strength training a few times a week. Maybe it’s starting your day with protein instead of carbs. Maybe it’s buying a new outfit that makes you feel amazing. Maybe it’s spending more time doing something that lights you up.

Just one thing. That’s all it takes to start shifting your energy and stepping into the hottest version of yourself.

And by the way, if you’re wanting to take this a step further and you’re ready to transform your health from the inside out—I have an amazing free training that will help you create a 12-month roadmap for sustainable weight loss that doesn’t involve dieting. It’s called “Healthy, Happy and Free,” and you can find HERE.

But before I sign off, I want to tell you about ANOTHER project I’ve been working on–something I’m SO FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT that I can hardly stand it.

It’s called “Unstoppable Weight Loss,” and it’s completely different from anything I’ve ever created before. This isn’t just another program about what to eat or what not to eat. This is about completely rewiring your brain for weight loss success.

Because here’s the truth: the women who succeed long-term, who actually lose the weight and keep it off, aren’t just following a meal plan. They’re thinking differently. They’ve mastered the mindset piece that so many of us struggle with.

And that’s exactly what Unstoppable Weight Loss is designed to do. It’s like having me as your personal mindset coach, walking you through every mental roadblock, every excuse, every self-sabotaging thought pattern that’s kept you stuck.

I’ve been pouring my heart into this for months, and I can’t wait to share it with you. We’re going to be opening it up soon, but if you want to be first in line and get some special bonuses when we launch, make sure you get on the waitlist. Just go HERE to join the waitlist and be the first to know when doors open.

This is going to be a game-changer, friend. I can feel it in my bones.

Because let’s be real–you deserve to feel amazing in your skin—at any age, at any size, starting right where you are.

That’s all for today! If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love it if you could take a screenshot and tag me on Instagram (@ruthsoukup) to tell me ONE way you’re stepping into your HOTTEST self today.

And be sure to hit subscribe or follow to catch future episodes. I’ll see you back here very soon—but until then, remember: Your hotness starts NOW.