How to get clear about what you want (and create a life that’s healthy, happy & free.)

Is the life you’re living right now the life you actually want?

It’s not a question we always dare to ask ourselves, because quite frankly….we might not like the answer.

And yet, every now and then, I think it’s important to step back and look at the bigger picture and get honest with ourselves about where we’re at right now…..and where we want to go.

It’s actually the question that inspired me to put together my upcoming FREE workshop, Healthy, Happy & Free in 2024. 

My goal is to help you lay out a clear path for transforming your health–and really your whole life–over the next 12 months. It’s going to be SO fun and empowering and honestly I think it is going to be life changing for everyone who attends.

Because so often we just get STUCK not moving forward because trying to figure out how to get from where we are right now to where we want to be just feels so big and so hard and so overwhelming.

So if you haven’t had a chance to register yet, be sure to do that HERE, because it’s going to be awesome. Truly.

But as I’ve been preparing for this workshop, it’s had me thinking SO MUCH about this topic of just living a life that is healthy, happy & FREE and what that actually means.

Because it’s a big deal.

And it’s also made me realize that in order to actually CREATE the life you want, to find that health and happiness and freedom, you’ve got to get some CLARITY on what that actually looks like.

I talk to SO many women that tell me they just don’t know what they actually want.

I think it’s maybe this stage of life that so many of us in our 40s and 50’s and even beyond that get to, where we’ve spent the last 20 or 30 years just trying to raise our kids and pursue our careers and do all the things, and then suddenly we wake up one day and realize that life is passing us by and our kids don’t need us as much as they used to and yet we haven’t really spent any time intentionally pursuing the things that matter to us or crafting a life that feels meaningful.

It’s like there’s this void and we don’t know how to fill it. We don’t even totally know what it is that we want, we just know that there’s a part of us that feels like something is missing. So we just keep doing all the things, hoping that someday it will all make sense.

But over the course of my own journey, which I talk about in more detail in this week’s podcast episode, what I’ve learned is that you can run and run and run and keep running from yourself and from all the things you are trying to avoid, but eventually it WILL catch up to you.

There WILL be a reckoning.

Something will happen that will force you to reevaluate where you’re at and where you’re going, like a mirror being held up in front of your face, where you’ll be able to see yourself clearly and you’ll have to ask yourself “do I like what I see?”

For some people it’s a tragedy. For others it’s losing your job or getting divorced or facing a financial crisis or even a global pandemic.

And all the sudden you’ll realize that you need to get clear about what you really want.

Why Clarity Matters

Because here’s the thing…..without clarity, you’ll only ever be DRIFTING.

And believe me, it’s easy to drift. Honestly, most of us spend our whole lives drifting, not really sure where we’re going or why.

We just go through the motions, doing what’s expected of us and what everyone else is doing. We follow trends and societal norms without ever stopping to question if it’s actually what we want for ourselves.

But drifting is dangerous. Because when you’re not actively steering your own ship, you can easily end up in waters you never wanted to be in.

And the worst part? You won’t even realize it until it’s too late.

Clarity, on the other hand, is like a compass that guides us towards the life we truly want. It helps us make decisions and take actions that align with our values and goals. It gives us a sense of direction and purpose.

So clarity matters. A LOT. In fact, it might be the most important thing you ever do for yourself.

But then, of course, the question becomes HOW.

How can you actually get clear about what you want?

There’s actually a few steps I recommend that you take.

Step One: Self-Assess

The first step to getting clear is to take a good, hard look at yourself and your life and where you’re at right now. And honestly, this isn’t always an easy process. It’s that holding up the mirror, and sometimes–if you realize that you don’t totally like what you see, it can be a little painful!

So what would happen if you gave yourself a score, on the scale of 1-10, in the following areas of your life right now?

Health

For your health score, a 10 would mean you are completely satisfied with your current health and weight. You look and feel your absolute best, you’ve got endless amounts of energy, and you’re free of chronic pain, inflammation, digestive issues, and brain fog. You don’t think it would be possible to look or feel any healthier than you do right now.

On the other end of the spectrum, a 1 would mean you are completely UNsatisfied with your current health and weight. On the BMI scale you are classified as obese or overweight, and you’re struggling with a variety of health issues, including possibly Type 2 Diabetes or pre-diabetes, inflammation, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heartburn, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and brain fog. Essentially, you are deeply concerned about your health right now.

And chances are, you’re somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. But if you were to think about it and actually give yourself a number, what would it be?

Happiness

Then, for your happiness score, a 10 would mean you feel totally happy and satisfied with your life most of the time. Your relationships are good, you have a deep sense of meaning and purpose, you laugh regularly, you’re motivated and energized, and you continually seek out opportunities for personal growth.

Or, on the other end of the spectrum, a 1 would mean you feel completely UNhappy or dissatisfied with your life most of the time. You struggle with depression and anxiety, lack healthy & positive relationships, feel stuck and unmotivated, and have trouble envisioning anything different than your current situation.

And again, it’s likely that your score would fall somewhere in between those two extremes, but if you really stop to think where you’re at in terms of happiness and satisfaction in your life right now, what would that number be?

Freedom

And then, for your final number–your FREEDOM score–a 10 would mean that right now you feel completely free to pursue your goals and dreams, without feeling like there is anything holding you back. You say yes to new opportunities. You dare to take risks, and don’t feel fearful or burdened by outside events or other people’s expectations. The people around you support your goals and cheer you on.

Or, on the other side, a 1 would mean that right now you feel completely stuck to the point you are unable to even think about pursuing any goals and dreams. You find yourself constantly saying no, even to activities and interests that you used to enjoy. You avoid risks and often find yourself consumed with fear and anxiety about world events or other people’s thoughts and actions. You don’t feel like you have a good support system around you.

So for your freedom score, where does your number fall?

(And just so you know, you’ll actually get access to a workbook with this assessment and some additional helpful reflection questions as soon as you register for our free workshop, so be sure to do that right away.)

So that’s really the first step…..you got to be honest with yourself about where you’re at right now.

Step Two: Ask Yourself What You Want

The next step, then, is to actually spend some time thinking about what you truly want in each of these three areas of your life–health, happiness, and freedom.

And while that sounds simple, it’s not, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed and stuck and unsure

But you have to FORCE yourself to actually start thinking about it.

And honestly, it can’t just be thinking in your head. You need to journal on it. A lot.

You’ve got to ask yourself the question, over and over again, “what do I want?”

A few years ago, as I was going through my own personal identity crisis, this is exactly what my husband kept saying to me.

He’d ask, “honey, what is that you want? You don’t seem happy. What does winning look like to you? What do you really want?”

And then a close friend told me that I needed to journal EVERY DAY on the same 2 questions–”what do I want, and what is it going to take to get there?”  She told me that the more I journaled on just that question, the more clarity I would be able to find.

She was right. They were both right. I’m lucky I have good people in my life giving me really good advice, because it was exactly what I needed.

And so that’s the advice I’m going to give you too. If you need more clarity then you need to sit with that question. What do I actually want? What do I want for my health? What do I want for my happiness? What do I want for my freedom?

So that’s step two–ask yourself what you want, over and over again.

Step Three: Make a Plan

The third and final step, once you’ve started to get more clarity on what it is you actually want, is to make a plan to get there.

Because the reality is that nearly everything you want out of life IS possible, even the things that feel impossible right now.

I think so often we just shut ourselves down before we’ve even gotten started because we just get overwhelmed or impatient, when the reality is that there is very little any of us aren’t capable of with enough time and effort and focus.

I say this all the time, but big goals never happen all at once. They are only EVER the result of small steps taken consistently over time. And so to make those big goals happen, you just have to figure out how to break it down into manageable bites.

That’s really all a plan is. It’s this big thing that you want, broken down into smaller and smaller pieces that you can actually tackle one at a time.

The way I often like to do this in both my business and my personal life is to look at a BIG goal, and think, “if I were to achieve this goal, what are the 5 things that need to happen, the 5 major milestones I would need to make happen first? And then from there, I break down each of those 5 major milestones into 5 smaller milestones. And what I end up with is basically a roadmap for what I want to do.

And from there it’s just a matter of accomplishing each step.

While that might sound too simplistic to actually work, it’s actually incredibly powerful. 

So make a plan–that’s step three. But only AFTER you’ve gotten clarity on where you want to go.

A Few Final Thoughts

Getting clarity made me realize what actually matters in my life, and what’s truly important to me.

It restored my marriage. It transformed my health. It changed the focus of my business, and even how I operate as a leader. It transformed my friendships and helped create so much more joy and FUN in my life. And it reignited my faith and my spiritual journey too.

There isn’t a part of my life that isn’t better as a result of getting more clarity.

And I promise it can do the same for you.

So join me next week–either November 5th or 6th for my free workshop, and in the meantime get your workbook and DO the prework! 

It’s going to be a game changer, and I can’t wait to see you there!